i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Drake has all the answers
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
