HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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