3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
