they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
