Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
