i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
