I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
