The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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