We named our party play list daddy issues
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
