I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
