I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
