its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
