I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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