Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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