I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
