I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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