im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
