Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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