this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize