You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
