I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
FUCK WHALES
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