My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
