I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
