Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
