I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
