It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
