making cat noises will not fix the situation.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
