I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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