found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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