Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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