no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
