Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
