so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
My breasts were aching with rage.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
