singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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