do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I love having hate sex.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Drunk is not a location!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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