i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
