O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
