Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
