Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i need an iv and a liver transplant
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
