I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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