Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
