Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
