your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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