Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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