Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
