I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Boobs are out for the taking
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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