okay pat passed out under dana's car
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
