standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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