we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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