We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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